Miyerkules, Mayo 9, 2012

Novena prayer to Saint Raymund Nonato


My mother in law gave me this novena prayer a month before I got pregnant. She recited this prayer when she was pregnant with my husband. I am sharing this to all of you because I know it helped me conceive:

Novena to St. Raymund Nonato, Protector of the Unborn Babies, Patron of Expectant Mothers and Fathers:

1st day:

My lord and my God, I humbly adore your infinite majesty, three persons in one God. I am thankful for the graces you have granted to the glorious St. Raymund. He willingly gave himself so that slaves and captives could have their freedom. His heroism was possible because you gave him the grace.

O St. Raymund, listen to my petitions and intercede before the throne of Jesus. You did not die at the womb of your dead mother and you lived to become a saint of the Lord. Listen then to my petition that my baby will come out healthy and grow to become a saint like you. Amen.

(3) Hail Mary and (3) Glory be. St Raymund Nonato pray for us.

2nd day:

My sweet Jesus, you cared for your servant St. Raymund by saving him from a certain death in the womb of his mother. You glorified him through his heroism and life as a beggar. You called this saint to a difficult life of saving the slaves and captives in the hands of the Muslims, a task which he did for your greater glory.

O dear St. Raymund, since childhood, you were close to God and you felt his presence anywhere. You knew you were called when you were still young and you sustained the interest on that calling by a life of prayer and meditation. Now in heaven, you sit at the lap of the most high and give him glory constantly. Intercede for me before Jesus that he may grant my petitions during this novena. Amen.

(3) Hail Mary and (3) Glory be. St Raymund Nonato pray for us.

3rd day:

O Mary most holy you are more of a mother than a queen. Though in your brief life on earth, you did not want special treatment from people, you want to treat your children in the most special manner. St. Raymund in the absence of her mother, called on you to be her mother and you protected him from the devil and his works.

O dear St. Raymund, your life of piety was marked by an intense dialogue with the Mother of God. She was your mother in the real sense of the word, as you looked at her for protection during your childhood days. We promise to be devotees of your Mother and we ask you to intercede for us before Jesus our petitions during this novena. Amen.

(3) Hail Mary and (3) Glory be. St Raymund Nonato pray for us.

4th day:

Lord, Jesus Christ you were disobedient to your Father and you defined your life as doing his will no matter what it costs. You want your servants to be as obedient as you are. Your servant, St. Raymund excelled in this obedience when after exhausting his money, he gave himself as a hostage to the Muslims in exchange for the freedom of certain slaves.

St. Raymund, teach us to be obedient to the Father's will. Teach us to accept our daily crosses. Guide us to the works of charity. Instill in us a holy fear and above all, a great love for God and our neighbors. Bring our petitions to the throne of Jesus. Amen.

(3) Hail Mary and (3) Glory be. St Raymund Nonato pray for us.

5th day:

Lord Jesus Christ, you told us that whatever we do to the least of our brothers, we do it unto you. Our entrance into your Kingdom will be determined by the way we serve the needy and the poor.

St. Raymund excelled in his service to others, allowing himself to become a slave in order to free as many captives as he could. He did not hesitate to spend his last treasure so that others may live. While he was honored a cardinal, he still spent his time on the streets begging for others.

St. Raymund, we are also beggars who beg your intercession so that the Lord may grant us our petitions for this novena. Intercede for us before the throne of the most High so that our petitions could be granted and we promise to help the poor and the needy the best way we can. Amen.

(3) Hail Mary and (3) Glory be. St Raymund Nonato pray for us.

6th day:

Lord Jesus Christ, you love purity and through the virginity of the Holy Mother, you blest all those who are faithful to a chaste life. St. Raymund was chaste and pure throughout his life. He offered himself to Mother Mary and made a solemn vow to imitate her in holy virginity.

Look on us with pity St. Raymund that we, too, may learn to be chaste by cleansing our minds and hearts of all impure things. Make us understand that impure thoughts become deadly once we entertain them. Help us then that we may not entertain impure thoughts and welcome only in our minds and hearts thoughts that edify our neighbors and make us closer to God. Amen.

(3) Hail Mary and (3) Glory be. St Raymund Nonato pray for us.

7th day:

Lord Jesus Christ, you did not deem equality with God as something to be looked up, but you emptied yourself and became one with us, a human being with all its imperfections, except sin. You lead us on the way of humility.

St. Raymund, you belonged to a rich and noble family. You considered your riches and nobility as garbage in comparison to what you had received as a religious. You only accepted the office of being a Cardinal because of obedience but soon after you received the honor, you went to the streets to be a beggar and beg to take care of the poor.

Lead us then to live humble existence, without reference to our positions and wealth, and see everything as a gift from God. Listen to our petitions, dear saint, and intercede for us before the throne of God who listens to you. Amen.

(3) Hail Mary and (3) Glory be. St Raymund Nonato pray for us.



8th day:

Lord Jesus Christ, you offered yourself to the Father and shed your blood to do his will. Your death is the crowning of your life totally dedicated to the Father.

O St. Raymund, you were tortured and nearly became a martyr. You survived the ordeal because your torturers wanted you more alive than dead for the ransom that they could get from you. But you were never afraid of dying and death for Jesus sake was something that you longed in your heart. Your eyes were fixed in heaven and life eternal.

Enlighten us always that reaching our eternal destiny may become our obsession. Inspire us to fix our gaze on things of heaven and never allow us to lose our sight of the things that will come. Let not the pleasures and comforts of this life suffocate our interest to join you in heaven. Amen.

(3) Hail Mary and (3) Glory be. St Raymund Nonato pray for us.



9th day:

Lord Jesus Christ, you sent your apostles to preach the gospel to all creation by words and deeds. You trusted weak human beings to carry your message across the earth and across time. You were not mistaken, for the Church is now all over the world. St. Raymund was a special apostle if his time, having converted even the Muslims to your cause.

O St. Raymund, give us the sense of urgency of sharing the good news to others as we ask you to intercede for us before Jesus. We also commit ourselves to follow in your steps as apostles who proclaim your message of salvation to the whole world. Bring out petitions to Jesus and we promise to be as zealous and sacrificing as you were, so that the good news may reach the far corners of the world. Amen.

(3) Hail Mary and (3) Glory be. St Raymund Nonato pray for us.










Happiness and paranoia...

 
I have a lot of fears and doubts. I'm scared that taking my daily multi vitamins when I was TTC which has 10,000IU of vitamin A will result in birth defect. I'm also scared that having my flu shot one week before I tested positive on my pregnancy test is bad for my babies. I'm scared that my babies will have learning disability, birth/congenital defect and autism.  I'm scared….

Yes I got the much anticipated BFP last May 4, the day AF was suppose to arrive. I was experiencing a lot of symptoms already and I have a feeling that I might be pregnant. My breasts were super sore, I had AF cramps but nothing's coming out, I had spotting 4 days before AF was suppose to arrive and then it stopped. I normally have spotting 2 days before my period and it never came and my breasts were sore. I tested at 1130AM and I got the positive result in less than a minute. I was deliriously happy. I called my hubby to tell him the good news and he was so happy. I prayed after, cried a little and prayed and give thanks some more.


I went to my doctor the following day and I can see that she was pleased. After all, our first attempt at IUI ended with a BFP! I had a blood test to confirm my pregnancy. She texted me the result after 2 days confirming my pregnancy and it's possible that I might be carrying twins! Twins! God is really good, he gave me not one but two babies. But of course I don’t want to keep my hopes up, the ultrasound will confirm everything, I'll have it on May 24.

My doctor said not to worry about the flu shot and there were no restrictions on my diet or beauty regimen. I can drink coffee in moderation, I can put on my usual moisturizer as long as I don’t use products with retinol. And then I asked doctor Google, that's when I got paranoid.

I shouldn’t stop worrying, I know. I should enjoy my pregnancy and think happy thoughts. I won’t Google anymore, I won't read about birth defects or autism. I will continue to pray my novenas and I know God will give me healthy babies.  I am such a worry freak!

I just want to share my story to all the couples trying to conceive out there. There is hope, I've been married for almost 6 years. I had PCOS, slightly tilted cervix and DH has low sperm count. But with patience and prayers, we are now finally pregnant. Keep the faith and believe that a miracle is already on the way.  God really is good and he will grant your wishes. Believe and keep the faith.

Linggo, Mayo 6, 2012

My unforgettable IUI experience...




I'm sorry I wasn't able to write anything for the past few weeks. I'm trying to relax and think happy thoughts. But I'm back and I wanted to share my horrifying IUI experience… but it's not same for everyone. Mine was an isolated case, it turned out I have a stubborn cervix. Let me start at the beginning….
April 21, 2012:

My whole IUI experience was painful, from the waiting of my hubby's washed sperm until the day after the procedure. I forgot how my Hysterosalpingography (HSG) hurts and I told myself I don't want to undergo an IUI procedure anymore because of that. But I said to myself how easy it would be and a lot of people are saying that it doesn't hurt, "it feels uncomfortable but never painful". Yeah right, the procedure for me was pure torture. But I was already in pain before the procedure. My doctor told me that hubby's SA is very low. After all those vitamins and supplements, his count got worse. I'm trying not think about it because my doctor was saying that we only need one strong sperm to fertilize my egg but after all the researched I did, I can't help but feel disappointed.  And then there I was ready for insemination and I kept on thinking please oh please don't use the speculum. Using the evil clamp like thing means there is something wrong. As it turned out, the canal connecting my cervix and uterus is tilted. That's why hubby's tadpoles are having a hard time reaching my uterus because of the labyrinth they have to go through. My doctor was saying sorry every step of the way because she knows how painful it is. For one, when she inserted the spoon like clamp inside me, no lubricant was used (lubricant kills the sperm). Then I have a tilted cervix so inserting the thin like catheter, proves to be a challenge. She used the speculum and then this silver rod or stick then I stopped looking. It was really uncomfortable and painful and I keep on thinking when it will finally be over. I just want to get out of there. Finally when the sperm was inseminated, my doctor also breathes a sigh of relief and told me it’s over. She called DH in to keep me company and I lay there with pillows under my butt for 20-30 minutes. There I was with the catheter still inside me and DH and I were being silly laughing because of it. Then we looked around my doctor's room and can't help but laughed about silly stuff. Like what if DH sits on the doctor's chair and write on her prescription pads. And just like that the horrifying experience went out of the window and I was glad I did the procedure. I'll always be thankful that I have a wonderful doctor who understands what I'm going through and a husband who loves and supports me dearly. I walked out the hospital with abdominal cramps and back ache but I was really looking forward to the result.
The past 2 days I was bleeding from the procedure but my doctor said it was to be expected because of the pinching of my cervix. I tried to think happy thoughts, my novena to St. Clare, St Raymund of Nonato, praying the rosary and praying to God helped me throughout the journey. I don’t know if I can still go through another month if ever this procedure is unsuccessful. But I told myself, this is it. If I don’t get pregnant then I have to go on with my life and lift everything to God. He knows what is best for us and If I'm not yet destined to be pregnant, who I am to argue and rebel? I lift everything to God and we did our part. He loves us and he wants the best for us. For now all I can do is pray, wait and on hold to my faith.

Martes, Abril 17, 2012

The day before my IUI procedure


Had my follicle monitoring yesterday, friggin' doctor was 1 hour late. After changing my clothes, I was asked to lay down with my legs open. And guess what? The doctor was still on the phone and I still waited for another 15 minutes before he started the procedure. WTF?!? Anyway I guess I should be happy with the result. CD14 and I have 3 dominant follicles measuring 21mm and two 17mm's. I'm a bit sad though because the two dominant follicles came from my right ovary, such a waste! But I'm still thankful that the biggest follicle is on my left so there's still hope. I actually have 15 follicles in total, but the rest are small (5mm-10mm). My doctor gave me the remaining shot of Puregon because there's still a small amount left. She also congratulated me for a job well done, I was able to inject myself and there's no visible bruise on my belly. I am hoping that the last Puregon shot will make my remaining follies bigger.

Today I had my trigger shot at 2pm and tomorrow at pass 12 noon, I'll have the IUI procedure. I am hoping that the timing is accurate. From what I've been reading, the perfect timing for IUI is 36 hours after the trigger shot. I'll have mine at 22 hours so I'm a little bit concern. According to doctor Google, washed sperms only live for 12-24hrs and they lose their potency after 6 hours of insemination. So if you do the math, my IUI timing is way early. I'm crossing my fingers though and I'm praying for a successful procedure. I should stop myself for reading too many articles and over analyzing things. I should trust my doctor because she knows best. I should trust GOD and pray hard for a miracle.

Tomorrow's the big dayJ Pray for me please..  

Martes, Abril 10, 2012

Puregon up close and personal...


I went to my OB gyne yesterday and was given a Puregon shot. I also bought the kit which contained 5 needles and 250IU of Puregon, it's safely packed in an ice filled lunch box type container.  I can't believe I'll be injecting myself with this. It looks easy, I was taught how to and my doctor was very patient in answering all my questions. She said, she'll gladly do the injection herself but I need to travel everyday to the hospital and it's going to be expensive and tiring. She instructed me to place the kit inside the refrigerator and inject myself with 50IU every day. Timing is also important, I need to inject myself the same time every day.



I did a lot of research and found out that Puregon is Follistim in other countries. It also has a high success rate compared to Clomid. The alarming thing that I read though is the high rate of ectopic pregnancy from using it and I only have one patent tube so I'm hoping I won't end up losing both.  I wrote down all the instructions given to me by my Doctor but just in case I'll forget I found this helpful website with a step by step instruction on how to inject oneself with Puregon. Here's the link: http://www.ivfworldwide.com/Education/instructions-to-inject-of-puregon.html. I am hoping I'll be able to produce good quality eggs this cycle. I'm also helping myself lose weight. I'm not eating rice, pasta or bread at night and I'm exercising 30 minutes every day. Hopefully all these will help me achieve my much awaited BFP.

Unfortunately my hubby wasn't able to have his SA last weekend, the clinic was closed when we went there. It sucks because I called them days before to inquire if they will be open and they said yes. I wish his count and motility increased, we need at least 10million motile sperm to raise our chance of success with IUI. I'm quite excited about the procedure next week, I'm trying not to get too excited though.

Until my next post, I'll keep you guys updated.




Martes, Abril 3, 2012

My IUI journey...


Another unsuccessful cycle, AF came today, on time as always. I asked my husband 2 days before if he will agree on undergoing Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) this month and he agreed. He asked if there is another option beside IUI, I said we could always wait and do it the normal way, no drugs no scheduled Bd (baby dance= baby making). He answered, well then we should do IUI. He was right of course, he's always right. But then I thought about the expenses and suddenly I had second thoughts. I will be spending approximately Php30,000 for the whole procedure, I can buy a lot of things from that amount. I can buy a Tiffany chain bracelet, a pink blackberry 8250, a gym membership and a new set of  clothes. I'll have all those things and those things I can hold, I can use and wear. If I don't get pregnant from IUI, I'll only have tears, a broken heart, resentment, anger and loss. Would I be able to go through another cycle? We went to church to attend the Sunday mass after our conversation and I wasn't asking for signs. Well I was suppose to ask for signs but I can't think of one so I said to myself, If my OB will go to work on Holy Wednesday then we will go for IUI. Inside the church, there were a lot of people probably because it's Palm Sunday (the beginning of the Lenten season which is a big deal in our country, since 80% of the population is Catholic) and a lot of kids are pestering the adults, laughing, having fun. A lot of ugly kids (sorry!) as well but I was just smiling at all of them. Well I was frowning at first then I don't know what happened, I just watched them and wish that I have my own dirty kid to pester me. In short, I went to my OB today and yes we will proceed with IUI this month.

Since I already finished 3 cycles of Clomid, this time I asked for injectable. Also I read that there are higher success rates of IUI with injectable than Clomid. Injectable drug produces more quality follicles than Clomid and the more the merrier. It's more expensive though and well I have to inject myself with the drug but I'll do anything to have a baby. Here's my schedule this month:

*  Day 1- First day of period, went to the OB

*  Day 3- Take Ovamit (much cheaper than Clomid) 2x a day. She explained why I have to take Clomid again but I wasn't really listening (sheessh)

*  Day 4 or 6- Hubby's SA

*  Day 8- Doctor's appointment, Tutorial on injecting oneself with drugs 101.
   Take Premarin 3x/day

*  Day 8 to 14- Injectable (I can do this!)

*  Day 14- Follicle monitoring

*   Day 15 or 16- IUI

           *   Day 15- Take duphaston 1x/day
           
           *   Day 28- Last day of drinking medicines

I'm going to very busy this month, I love it! Here's the estimated cost for the procedure:

*    Oral Medication- Ovamit (2x/day for 5 days= 10 pcs @ Php 100 = Php 1,000), Premarin (3x/day for 20 days= 63 pcs @ Php33= Php 2,079), Duphaston (1x/day for 14 days= 14pcs @ Php56= Php 784) Total of Php3,863





*        IUI procedure at Victory Art= Php12,000 (inclusive of doctor's fee)

*        Injectable- name of the medicine to follow and dosage= Php 13,000



It's super expensive, I know but IVF is more expensive. I pray we don't have to do IVF. But I'm actually looking forward to the procedure this month. I wish I'll be able to produce a lot of good quality follicles, 3 on my left and 1 on my right. I also pray that hubby will be able to produce good quality swimmers. The timing is also crucial to make it successful so I hope my doctor will do a great job in pointing out the correct time. Everything I achieved, I work hard for and now even at becoming pregnant, I accepted the fact that I too will work hard to get it.

Prayers, faith and hard work will make anything possible.

Miyerkules, Marso 28, 2012

Am I or am I not? The early pregnancy symptoms...


It's been almost 15 days since I've posted something. I didn't get a job although I've been sending my CV to companies and every time I received a decline letter I breathe a sigh of relief.  I actually don't know what to write today, would you like to hear about my two week symptoms? I don't think it's going to help me get pregnant but this is what the blog is all about.  

I'm on my 27th day since I had my first period and so far so good. Good means I have constant high Body Basal Temperature (BBT). High is 37Celcius and it gets higher in the afternoon. Although today it dropped to 36.8C and I am praying it doesn't go any lower. Having a constant elevated BBT means increase in progesterone. Progesterone is what maintains a healthy pregnancy. Normally BBT increases around the time of ovulation and drops if AF (aunt flo= period) is on the way. But before I get excited my BBT should stay elevated for 18 days after ovulation. If my calculation is correct and if I really ovulated on CD (cycle date) 17 then I still have 8 days left. It's too early to get excited. My breasts are sore which is also symptom that AF is coming. I thought it wasn't that sore but yesterday just to prove to myself that I'm not imagining the pain, I jumped, and boy it sure is painful. There's also pain on my left and right ovary which comes and goes. But there's no heightened sense of smell this month which is weird because I really have a good nose. The past few days are just like last month, emotionally draining. I still keep on obsessing about it, I can't stop myself. Thank God for forums and support groups and writing, it somehow eases the pain.

I'm still maintaining a positive attitude and I have my faith to hold on to. Hopefully by next week I'll be posting an image of my very first positive pregnancy test. Just thinking about it makes me smile, that's something to look forward to.