Agony...

3 more days to go, I want to freeze time but at the same time I also I wish it's the 29th already. My breasts are sleeping, it's not painful anymore, I need to give it a squeeze before I can feel pain. I'm gassy, I easily get hungry and my left side ovary feels heavy as if I'll be ovulating anytime soon. It really sucks waiting for something that might or might not happen. I find myself evaluating or searching the internet every time I feel a new symptom. I'm always associating my symptoms to early signs of pregnancy but maybe all these are signs of the upcoming Af. I'm trying my best not to think about it too much, I don't want to keep my hopes up but what can I do.. I really want to get pregnant. I want it so much it hurts.

Hubby and I went car shopping today. For the past 3 months, hubby is looking for his perfect car. Finding the perfect car for him is like my ttc journey. Obsess kami sa dalawang magka ibang bagay. Nakakatawa lang , para sa akin ang baby ang makakapag kumpleto ng pagkababae ko and I guess para sa kanya ang magandang kotse ang makakapag kumpleto ng pagka lalake nya. But he's been the best husband ever so who am I to deny him of his obsession?

Right now I don't know if I can still go back to my OB next week and take those fertility medicines again. I know I'm being unreasonable for giving up so soon but I just can't imagine myself doing the same thing all over. Maybe I should just relax next month and try to enjoy the moment.

Que sera sera, whatever will be will be…