It's hard to deal with unemployment. The funny thing is I
opted to quit my job. I wanted to spend more time with my hubby and open up my
own business. I felt like the stress is killing me slowly and we are hoping
that in doing so, we would finally have a baby.
But I miss earning money and being productive. I'm actually
having nightmares about my previous jobs and I wake up thinking if I did the
right thing. I have to think of a new business venture. When I was still
working I had tons of business ideas. Now that I'm unemployed I still can't
think of the right business venture for me. I mean I did, but we don't have enough
money for the franchise and I don't want to risk the little savings we have
left. So I must think of a business venture that doesn't include franchising
and as much as possible includes a small capital.
What about going back to work? I thought of this, a thousand
times over and the answer is, no. I don’t want to start all over again and I'm
too old to land a good job. I can only apply for a call center agent job and as
much as I wanted to, I'm not fit for that kind of environment.
So what must I do? My gut tells me that I should stick with
the plan. Have a baby and start my own business. If I'll able to do both, I
will be deliriously happy. So I went back to my doctor last week. She was
really sympathetic, she suggested IUI and though I'm having second thoughts
maybe I'll give it a try. The cost is quite high and I feel for my husband but
I was desperate. I was given a higher dose of Clomiphene, 3x/day for 5 days
cd3-7. Premarin 3x/day from cd7-28 and Duphaston 1x/day from cd 13-28. I'll
have my Tvs on cd12 which I think is way too early. I usually have my tvs done
by cd13. If ever both ovaries are ovulating then that's the time that I think
I'll have my Pregnyl shot and proceed with IUI next Saturday, cd 15. I'm quite
apprehensive, I think the procedure is way too early. From what I researched, washed
sperms only survive for 24 hours and IUI should be done 6 hours prior to ovulation
to get a higher success rate. I'm also asking for a sign if we should proceed,
ovulating on both ovaries with more than 1 follicle is what we are aiming for.
I'm also sick with the flu. I don't know where I caught the
bug but I'm trying to rest and take plenty of liquids and Vitamin C so I don't
have to go the doctor. If I don't feel better by next week then we have no
choice but to postpone the procedure.
I wish I can get out of this misery. I am plagued with worry
and doubts.
