Happiness and paranoia...

 

I have a lot of fears and doubts. I'm scared that taking my daily multi vitamins when I was TTC which has 10,000IU of vitamin A will result in birth defect. I'm also scared that having my flu shot one week before I tested positive on my pregnancy test is bad for my babies. I'm scared that my babies will have learning disability, birth/congenital defect and autism.  I'm scared….

Yes I got the much anticipated BFP last May 4, the day AF was suppose to arrive. I was experiencing a lot of symptoms already and I have a feeling that I might be pregnant. My breasts were super sore, I had AF cramps but nothing's coming out, I had spotting 4 days before AF was suppose to arrive and then it stopped. I normally have spotting 2 days before my period and it never came and my breasts were sore. I tested at 1130AM and I got the positive result in less than a minute. I was deliriously happy. I called my hubby to tell him the good news and he was so happy. I prayed after, cried a little and prayed and give thanks some more.

I went to my doctor the following day and I can see that she was pleased. After all, our first attempt at IUI ended with a BFP! I had a blood test to confirm my pregnancy. She texted me the result after 2 days confirming my pregnancy and it's possible that I might be carrying twins! Twins! God is really good, he gave me not one but two babies. But of course I don’t want to keep my hopes up, the ultrasound will confirm everything, I'll have it on May 24.

My doctor said not to worry about the flu shot and there were no restrictions on my diet or beauty regimen. I can drink coffee in moderation, I can put on my usual moisturizer as long as I don’t use products with retinol. And then I asked doctor Google, that's when I got paranoid.

I shouldn’t stop worrying, I know. I should enjoy my pregnancy and think happy thoughts. I won’t Google anymore, I won't read about birth defects or autism. I will continue to pray my novenas and I know God will give me healthy babies.  I am such a worry freak!

I just want to share my story to all the couples trying to conceive out there. There is hope, I've been married for almost 6 years. I had PCOS, slightly tilted cervix and DH has low sperm count. But with patience and prayers, we are now finally pregnant. Keep the faith and believe that a miracle is already on the way.  God really is good and he will grant your wishes. Believe and keep the faith.