My unforgettable IUI experience...

I'm sorry I wasn't able to write anything for the past few weeks. I'm trying to relax and think happy thoughts. But I'm back and I wanted to share my horrifying IUI experience… but it's not same for everyone. Mine was an isolated case, it turned out I have a stubborn cervix. Let me start at the beginning….

April 21, 2012:

My whole IUI experience was painful, from the waiting of my hubby's washed sperm until the day after the procedure. I forgot how my Hysterosalpingography (HSG) hurts and I told myself I don't want to undergo an IUI procedure anymore because of that. But I said to myself how easy it would be and a lot of people are saying that it doesn't hurt, "it feels uncomfortable but never painful". Yeah right, the procedure for me was pure torture. But I was already in pain before the procedure. My doctor told me that hubby's SA is very low. After all those vitamins and supplements, his count got worse. I'm trying not think about it because my doctor was saying that we only need one strong sperm to fertilize my egg but after all the researched I did, I can't help but feel disappointed.  And then there I was ready for insemination and I kept on thinking please oh please don't use the speculum. Using the evil clamp like thing means there is something wrong. As it turned out, the canal connecting my cervix and uterus is tilted. That's why hubby's tadpoles are having a hard time reaching my uterus because of the labyrinth they have to go through. My doctor was saying sorry every step of the way because she knows how painful it is. For one, when she inserted the spoon like clamp inside me, no lubricant was used (lubricant kills the sperm). Then I have a tilted cervix so inserting the thin like catheter, proves to be a challenge. She used the speculum and then this silver rod or stick then I stopped looking. It was really uncomfortable and painful and I keep on thinking when it will finally be over. I just want to get out of there. Finally when the sperm was inseminated, my doctor also breathes a sigh of relief and told me it’s over. She called DH in to keep me company and I lay there with pillows under my butt for 20-30 minutes. There I was with the catheter still inside me and DH and I were being silly laughing because of it. Then we looked around my doctor's room and can't help but laughed about silly stuff. Like what if DH sits on the doctor's chair and write on her prescription pads. And just like that the horrifying experience went out of the window and I was glad I did the procedure. I'll always be thankful that I have a wonderful doctor who understands what I'm going through and a husband who loves and supports me dearly. I walked out the hospital with abdominal cramps and back ache but I was really looking forward to the result.

The past 2 days I was bleeding from the procedure but my doctor said it was to be expected because of the pinching of my cervix. I tried to think happy thoughts, my novena to St. Clare, St Raymund of Nonato, praying the rosary and praying to God helped me throughout the journey. I don’t know if I can still go through another month if ever this procedure is unsuccessful. But I told myself, this is it. If I don’t get pregnant then I have to go on with my life and lift everything to God. He knows what is best for us and If I'm not yet destined to be pregnant, who I am to argue and rebel? I lift everything to God and we did our part. He loves us and he wants the best for us. For now all I can do is pray, wait and on hold to my faith.